ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
