there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
