yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
