Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
