marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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