is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
