Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
