There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
