Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
