There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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