how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
