i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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