it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
