It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
