And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She even gives head with a lisp.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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