i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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