After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
