I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize