Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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