eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Randomize
