How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Welp...herpes.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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