I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
