In America we eat man semen.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize