...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
