Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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