They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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