New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
