The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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