They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
