For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I have feelings that need drinking.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize