we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
