barbara walters just said penis...
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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