You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Randomize