i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
oh god the rape fog is back!
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
