Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I love having hate sex.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
