Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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