Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
