My friends, they love my intelligence
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
