Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
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