its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
