I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
