I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
