Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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