he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
