im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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