look no pants
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
