We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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