i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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