I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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