Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
