im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
