Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
