I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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