I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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