Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Randomize
