Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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