He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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