I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
