Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
