the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
