we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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