i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
