life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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