Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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