I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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