I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
