Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
