Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
