Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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