SEEEEXXX PLEASE
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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