Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize