So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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