I heard we made out
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
