Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Randomize
