The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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