Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
