Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
