Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
