i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
