Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
